did you get engaged???
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
