so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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