i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
