I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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