Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
