found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
