He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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