Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
