i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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