no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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