Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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