It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
