My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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