i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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