His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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