Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
