after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
