He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
