On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
