im drinking this country out of the recession.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
