i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you win again, gameday.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
