I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
