She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
