Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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