he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
