You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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