yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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