whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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