just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
