I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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