yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
