So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
