your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
