Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
