Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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