I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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