You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you win again, gameday.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
