I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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