i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
