I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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