My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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