She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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