from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
