I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
