ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
