remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The struggles of a small town man whore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
