worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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