I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
