god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
