would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
