I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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