They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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