yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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